I have a boring life but I'm loving college so far omg ♥


the matchmaker meme ♥

I got accepted and I already enrolled for classes. I'll be going to the same college as nessi_foo which is great because I miss her since we were in the same class in middle school. We don't have any classes together but our schedules are similar, so we might be able to get together more than we do now.

I joined a writing community - runaway_tales    I hope I can write something soon. I'm working on a small fic shedding light on some events in my story but it's not supposed to go there. I mean, I didn't use a prompt or anything...

Oh, right. Sunday, 13th, was my 18th birthday. I'm an adult now. I got money and a wonderful romantic fic from nessi_foo YOU ALWAYS MAKE MY BIRTHDAYS BETTER.

And since I haven't posted in ages, sometime last week I went out with <lj user="yunie-sigh"> (again! we're going out a lot lately, aren't we?). She has absolutely no table manners 8I I need to give her lady lessons! Also next time you come here I'm not letting you anywhere near my couch, you were about to fall asleep. I had a wonderful day though, thank you for always hanging out with me <3

I have a puppy now. He's a 2-month-old pug and his name is Max. I've never seen anything so small run and jump so damn much, it's scary. It's like he's running on neverending batteries or something and we can't keep up with him. He has no notion of "bathroom" yet which makes it kind of dangerous to walk around the house but he'll learn in time. He's so cute though and he ADORES people which, to me, was a great relief - I was terrified he wouldn't like us and would have an unhappy life here in our home ._.;

Anyway, that is all. College classes start on Monday - wish me luck!


P.S.
CHEER UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT. AAAAAAH. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO TO HELP YOU BUT I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU DKFJDKLSJF.

I thought after all this time this person deserves to be thanked.
And I'm going to give you the link to this so you know who you are.


We met when we were both 10 years old. Ten years old. Do I actually have to say how young that is? We were both so weird and anti-social in a way and for a while we didn't talk at all. The guys made fun of you, the girls made fun of me and we were both miserable in our own little corners. But before I started getting along with the girls, I started talking to you. And we found out we were both quite similar. We're romantic, we're old-fashioned in ways that we can't let other people know because we would be seen as weirdos.
Our friendship grew. You became my best guy friend - which is to say a lot since back then I usually only hung out with guys. But you were different. Being with you was different, I could be honest and I could be myself in a way I couldn't. And you still hung out with me even though I was so ugly back then!

Then you told me something that I... didn't really know how to answer. We were such little kids back then, how could I have known? But we stayed friends, and I was happy with that. And then you left. You just left, without saying anything! I never told you but it hurt me, and it hurts me even more now. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I would have apologized for all the horrible things I did at that time...
Still, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that you were no longer here. And as time passed all that I had were memories... And then we started talking again. And we've been talking more and more each day.

We're different now. We've both changed so much. I don't know if you've noticed it, but I have. We're so different and we're so much more mature than all those years ago. We've grown and we're no longer the little kids we used to be. But you know what? I like you more now than I did so long ago, even though all we do is talk online and by text messages. We don't have all those stupid fights now and every day I find out a new thing we have in common. And it's wonderful and refreshing. And I can say with all honesty that I miss you more now when I don't talk to you for a few days than when you left and we didn't talk for ages. Because I think I've grown to need you. Is that a bad thing?

You're always there for me, and I've only realized this recently. You're always there to comfort me, to back me up, you never want to talk about your own problems but you always make me talk about what's bothering me. Even though I have this horrible self-esteem you're always trying to make me feel better, you're always complimenting me, telling me how wonderful I am and making me feel like the most special girl in the world. And, you know, those times when we start talking about how it would be if we lived together... Talking about that actually cheers me up a lot. Because I know that if it were with you, it would work. Because I think in a secret part of my heart I really want to be with you and I haven't convinced myself of that yet.
I doubt I will ever be able to thank you for this. For always being by my side, for always cheering me up, for always managing to make me feel better in every way - about myself and my future - and for... well, just for being as special as you are.
You make me feel better every time we talk. And I can only wish to someday be able to have that effect on you as well.

I had to write this down here because it's long and I don't like to waste time since we always have such little time to talk ^^;
Anyway. All I really want to say is...

Thank You.
And please don't ever leave me.

I'm emoing so hard right now, ugh.

Taken from yunie_sigh

( Name Meaning )





According to my birthday calculator, my life-path is number 6. This is what it says about 6:




( My life path )

That is to say - I am home.

After three weeks of adventure, sunbathing and shopping, I'm actually rather glad to be sitting on my beloved black chair again. I want to go sleep so I'm going to try and keep this short, so...

First week:
Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Isles
I've been here for a week as well last year. Parents only repeat places they really love so I didn't mind going back here at all. The BVI have the prettiest beaches I've ever seen, and that is saying a lot - I've been to the Seyschelles, which in my mind is paradise on Earth. We stayed at the same hotel and in a similar room, though we didn't spend every day lounging about in the sun. First we took the boat to Mountain Trunk Bay, or, how I call it, Jellyfish Hell. It's mom's favourite beach with corals to snorkel around and it always has dozens of pellicans flying around and diving to eat around us. I had another bad experience, a year after having been traumatized by being trapped between the rocks and three jellyfish, but I'm over it. The other days we took a boat to Spring Bay, which wasn't as pretty as the others, and then on one day we went on a day-long boat trip to various snorkeling spots. We went to Norman Island, where Treasure Island is set (the book), and I saw little squids! They're so adorable, seriously, much more adorable than the big-ass sea turtle that I nearly stepped on. And the barracuda, but they just go past you with their teeth sticking out like bulldogs. We ate at Willie's that day, a ship-restaurant, which is awesome. Rest of the week was spent at the beach.

Two days:
St Maarten
Best. Two days. Ever.
We got to St Maarten a few hours after they issued a hurricane alert. We bypassed SO many natural disasters that we weren't worried - if we dodged the tsunami back in '06, nothing could stop us. The hotel management was hysterical though (the manager looked like Robert Redford in his young days, hm~) and they said they wanted us and everyone to leave. We didn't though. Soon enough they started sending warnings that they were going to close the hurricane blinders and take down the TV antennae blah blah blah. We rented a jeep and drove around the island, which is beautiful, and mom's cellphone broke and we had to go buy a new one (FINALLY). Then we decided to leave a day earlier in case the hurricane did hit (we had the boat trip scheduled for Wednesday, when it was supposed to hit the island, talk about bad luck).

Second (full) week:
St Barthelemy (St Barth)
I really wanted to go to St Barth because it was so famous for being a chic hot spot for celebrities and such. I mean if rich people like it, why shouldn't I? Turns out we had a villa instead of the room, two small houses with a private pool and chairs and outside living area in-between. Best hotel room I ever had. Mom and dad stayed in the separate house while I got the main house all to myself for a week~ They went to the beach every day and I sunbathed at the pool. One of the best weeks I ever had and the only reason I wanted to leave was to go to New York.

Third week:
New York City
I LOVE NEW YORK.
I LOVE THIS STUPID CITY MORE THAN I LOVE LONDON.
I swear if I don't buy an apartment here SOMEDAY in my life, it'll all be worth nothing. Now I even know where I want to get my house - in the Meatpacking district. It's so wonderful, the houses are all GORGEOUS and I'm regretting not visiting this part of the city last year. Mom and dad constantly let me run around the Upper East Side on my own so I got some private time. We also did a HUGE amount of shopping (believe me, huge, like Everest huge). As for culture, we went to the American Museum of Natural History (I SAW THE FREAKING T-REX SKELETON FROM JURASSIC PARK: http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9364/sdc12168u.jpg ), The Frick Collection (in which I fell in love with a painter and have now decided him to be my utmost favourite - Fragonard) and The Guggenheim Museum, though the exhibitions were all closed for renovation. I took some pictures of the building which, in my opinion, is worth going there for. We went to see a very confusing play called A Perfect Crime... But we also went to see a wonderful musical, probably one of the BEST things I've ever seen, called South Pacific. It's based on Michener's book Tales of the South Pacific and the score is by Rodgers & Hammerstein, the guys who did Sound of Music, etc. It's so wonderful and we were on the front row. FRONT ROW. CENTER SEATS. And the orchestra violinist winked at me three times in the finale when we stood up clapping for them xD And he waved me goodbye when he stood up! So sweet Dx



I'm glad to be home though and my visit to NYC rekindled the flame inside of me of someday founding my own clothing brand with my designs. And I want it to be called Princess K. With a little crown over the K. Yes, I'm cheesy like that.
And now I'm going to bed~

Sorry for lack of posts lately but I've been entertained. I came here as usual to rant a bit about something that's getting on my nerves.

A few months ago I started getting insultuous e-mails from a person I don't know and whose name doesn't mean a thing to me. I literally have never heard her name before, so this random person comes out of the blue and starts sending me e-mails, calling me a whore and a bitch and a whole bunch of horrible names. I shrugged it off, ignored it, told the girl those weren't meant for me because I didn't know her, and thought it was done.
Then she started e-mailing me again, like, once every two days I'd get an e-mail. Insults and crap like that.
It's fucking. Harassment.
And apparently she knows my full name, which I haven't used in my e-mail registration, so what the hell? She keeps sending me e-mails to this day and it started like, what, January? I don't really know because I deleted all that crap. I mean, what the hell. Everybody knows I'm always trying to please everyone and I go all depressed and emo-shit when I find out someone doesn't like me, so if I had a problem with this person (or vice versa) I would definitely know about it.

What the hell. Seriously.
This is really starting to get to me. I get really nervous when I open the damn e-mails now.

*sigh*

I can't stop listening to 22, by Lily Allen. It's such an addictive song. However, I have a severe ear infection now (I get them every year) and I can't listen to it on both earphones anymore ;u; I hate this! How can I live without music D:

Speaking of music, I wrote/recorded vocals to a song today: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HP2D8KZE If you want to hear it. I can't sing worth a shit but I like the song, I want to record instruments for it too ;u;

The hurricane blew past us, Tropical Storm Ana has devolved into a tropical depression, but we're so sick of the bad management in this hotel that we're still going to St Barth a day early. Meaning tomorrow I have to be up by 6:45am to get some breakfast (lemon cake *A*) and go to the harbor xD; I was in denial about packing a few hours ago and started watching BlazBlue videos. I swear, the reason I was so happy when I found out we were going to New York again is that I can actually buy BlazBlue, since PS3 isn't region-locked!
And I want to watch the play based on Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. There are also a few off-Broadway plays I'd like to see but for now I'm more focused on enjoying St Barth.

OH MY GOD I JUST SLAPPED A MOSQUITO ON MY ARM.
I usually just slap my arm and miss the damn thing so this is a major personal triumph.
Mom and I have been talking about the puppies. I can't wait, I can hardly think about anything else... It's just too lonely in that house all the time.


I bought a bottle of Godiva White Chocolate Licquor today. 19$. Seriously, back in Portugal, it would be around 25/30€. Though mom and dad have been drinking from it all night long and I've only had a glass.
Yet.

And I'm fangirling over Doctor Svenson but that's a sad thing, I suppose, so I'll shut up about it.
There's people I miss as well, but I haven't heard from those people ever since I got here so I suppose they're okay and all. That's all that matters.
I'm just happy I don't have to go into a boat during a hurricane. The new hotel manager has been so hysterical about the whole thing there were sandbags at the hotel entrance.
SAND. BAGS.
I started telling mom how much it looked like some cartoonish war barricade. Like some Dick Dastardly stunt or something. We were laughing at the bags while the manager looked at us from the corner. I think he was sad.

Anyway, off to bed for me. Hope everyone is doing okay.

Okay, so, we got to St Maarten/St Martin today, which is an island near St Bart. Seems like a nice place, though the moment we got here we got a hurricane warning.
I am definitely not afraid of natural disasters - I've witnessed quite a few - but the big issue here is that we're leaving for St Bart on Wednesday... which is the exact day the hurricane is supposed to hit. The worst part is we're going to St Bart by boat. And going on an inter-island boat trip in the middle of a hurricane is obviously a big no-no.

We're weighing our options. Hopefully we'll manage to go there earlier or later than planned, or maybe the storm will subside or the hurricane will change course.
Hope everyone's having a nice vacation. so_vayne , thank you so much for your comment ;u; *hugs*

As I expected, things have started to go downhill. Honestly I'm so used to this that I don't really care anymore.
Mom has been complaining every single day about something dad did or didn't do, and I have to agree with her because she's actually right. But when dad flips out about her complaining, I have to agree as well.
But in all honesty? I really couldn't care. I've heard all this. So many times. Maybe it's maturity or maybe it's just a shell I've developed. But tonight they started fighting over dinner at the fancy hotel restaurant when we were eating our starters so for the other two courses we had to stay in silence. I'm sick of having to deal with this when I have nothing to do with their petty arguments. Everything is an excuse to go at each other's throats and then I get hit with recoil because I'm sitting there.
Tonight at dinner, I told them quite plainly that it would be better if they just split up. And mom said that I was probably right.
And then we stopped talking. Though I've been chatting with mom, dad just won't say a word.

It's not that I'm affected by all this. Truthfully, I'd rather they split up so I wouldn't have to deal with the tension every day. What bothers me is that they're always picking at each other and I have to just sit there and listen because I have nowhere else to run. And I already get enough of this all year round, so I don't think it's fair that they argue like twenty times more when we're on vacation.

*sigh* I'm going to leave now. Just needed to rant. Not like anyone reads this anyway.

Well, I don't have long to post so I'll try to sum things up nicely.

After spending a night in Puerto Rico with no bag, and this after being told I couldn't leave the country because I wasn't my parents' daughter (which I am) AND ALSO after realizing, halfway through check-in, that I'd left my bag at home (consequently having to catch a cab and go back home to get it before the flight left)... I am currently in the BVI. Last night I finally had a shower.
A SHOWER.
The right to a nice hot bath is very very underrated. Seriously, after being without hygiene products and a change of clothes for two days you really can't wish for anything else other than a hot shower. It felt so good that I fell asleep right after, so today I'm rested, clean and ready for a nice day at the beach.

I have to draw Glass Books of the Dream Eaters fanart. Because I have the hots for Svenson and it's impossible to hate any of the main characters.
I already bought a lot of stuff - two pairs of sunglasses, two perfumes, lipstick, lipgloss, a TON of clothes at Ralph Lauren in San Juan, some goddamn SHORTS because my mother took mine (she lost hers) and two bags. I think I have a thing for pairing things up now that I realize xD;

WORK. ON. MY. NOVEL. Stop writing one-shots with my characters and work on the actual story!

Hope everyone is doing well~

A small piece of fiction full of mistakes, written in the last half hour. And now I need to go to bed.


A Man's Pride





"I heard he was beaten by a girl."


"Him?! No way!"


"I'm telling the truth! She didn't seem to be from around here, either."


"But for him to be beaten by a girl--"





The voices came to a halt upon being faced with the soft sound of footsteps approaching from the other side of the oak door. Both young knights exchanged looks of worry, standing very straight in their white uniforms, identifying the clear sound of a superior's steel-tipped boots on the marble floor. The door opened into the knights' dressing room, an elegant, handsome young man standing at the doorway, cold sapphire eyes piercing almost ruthlessly through both his underlings, as if he had heard exactly what they were saying.





"What business do you have in the dressing room?" His voice was even more threatening than his expression; though he spoke calmly, his question seemed more like an order. The other two instinctively clicked their heels and clung their hands to their hips, looking like two white wooden boards.


"W-We were simply enjoying our break in trainings to talk in a quiet place, Signore."


The tallest boy started, and his freckle-faced companion continued.


"We apologize if we have stepped out of bounds, Signore."


Both stood in attention, to which the elegant man didn't even bother to supress a twitch. Sighing, he pushed back layered, raven-black bangs, thinking about the best way to act. He knew what they were talking about, and he didn't like it at all. All he wanted was to whip out his sword and teach them a lesson about gossiping behind people's backs, but he knew that his position wasn't high enough to do such a thing and remain unscathed. After pondering his options, he let out another sigh and allowed his hand to rest on his hip.


"Leave now. The dressing room is not to be occupied by your idle chatter. Go find somewhere else to discuss your little trivialities."


The other two exchanged concerned looks, more than sure that he had overheard them, but too afraid to apologize. Instead, they both clicked their heels and spoke in a chorus.


"Yes, Vice-capitano Sciarra!"


And walked very close together past him, through the door and out into the hallway. He then found himself alone in the dressing room, with only his thoughts to keep him company. Quickly, he located a stone bench at the end of the room and sat down, leaning forward so that he faced the floor.


It was true. Francesco Calisto Sciarra, the most promising young knight of the White Order Imperiale had been defeated by a woman, probably a year or two younger than him. No matter how much he tried to excuse himself, trying to protect his pride by considering that she had mentioned something about being a captain of sorts, his ego had been wounded and he considered himself, at that moment, amongst the lowest of the low.


Francesco twitched, tightening his grip on his own fingers. The rumour of his shameful defeat had spread so quickly that even then, a mere two days after the event, the whole body of Order knights looked at him differently. Being younger than most of them and aware of his own talent, Sciarra knew he had a reputation - and a position as vice-captain of the force - to uphold and protect, and he could not simply allow himself to be branded as the weakling who was defeated by a woman. Knowing that a diffcult problem can never be solved through the best - and, usually, honest - ways, Francesco planned the best route to get to his new nemesis, smiling to himself as he twirled a small paper between two fingers - a ticket to the international artifact market at the riverbank.














As the lights from the city slowly began to go out, window by window, a chilly wind blew past the upper deck of the ship. Vincenzo sneezed and wiped his nose on the navy velvet of his coat.


They had been docking in the riverbank of La Speranza, a wealthy riverside town for a week and had already become quite accustomed to the weather. That night, however, the sky was especially clear so a very excited Ezio had suggested having dinner on the upper deck instead of the holed-up dining room downstairs. The more lights went out, the more the stars became visible, and the more Camille talked about constellations and reading the sky. Ezio rolled his eyes at him.


"The kid doesn't want to learn about that, don't bore him." He smiled at Vincenzo, not bothering at all to respond to Camille's obviously annoyed expression.


"I was hired as the prince's tutor, not you, so I believe I'm more qualified to determine what he should or should not learn, signore Leone."


Ezio raised his brow and lowered his fork, smiling amusedly at Camille. "Last names now. We really are in a foul mood, aren't we, monsieur Rosseau?"


Camille lost his usual self-control for a fraction of a second and banged his fists on the table. The rest of the crew sat idly, watching the argument unfold, even Graziana seemed rather bored with the whole situation, probably due to its repetitiveness. Vincenzo seemed to be enjoying it, quite unaware that he was the reason they had started arguing in the first place.


"Why, you-" Camille began, before a very large cake exuding a delicious smell was placed in front of him.


"Really," Alessandra stood behind Vincenzo's chair, between the other two, hands on her hips after putting down the tray with the cake. Her face was a vision of disapproval and disappointment. "You're like children. I can't leave you alone for a minute and you're already going at each other's throats."


"He's a nerd." Ezio stated quite bluntly, to which Camille hurriedly replied that Ezio was simply asking for it. Alessandra placed a finger on her forehead, asking some higher entity for patience, and told them very quietly to shut up. For a brief, pleasant moment, there was silence at the dinner table, and as Ezio began to cut the cake, a shout came from the bow of the ship, causing him to drop the knife.


"You! I found you!"





All heads turned to where the voice had come from - a tall, elegant young man clad in white with a black cross decorating the front of his uniform from top to bottom, a white overcoat shielding him from the cold. His lips were pursed in both determination and relief for being able to arrive at such a strange place, for Francesco was not used to being by the riverbank, the most of his life having been spent near the castle or the inner part of the city. He thought it to be a dirty, crime-filled place and he had absolutely no knowledge of ships whatsoever, so his motivation to visit the area was less than none, until he had found the need for revenge as a reasonable motive.


Alessandra stared at him, blinking, not as worried as she was curious. She definitely recognized him - the young man who had tried to thwart her plans of rescuing Camille, Henry and the prince from the old dungeon cells beneath the local castle. He seemed to have been seriously disturbed by the fact that she had beaten him, to the point that Alessandra felt the need to explain that she was, actually, a captain of the royal guard, but she couldn't imagine that he would search for her. The rest simply stared at the stranger as if some lunatic had had too much alcohol and somehow wandered aboard.





"You're the knight. From the castle." Alessandra tried, to which Sciarra twitched and, angrily, took a few steps forward.


"Vice-capitano of the White Order, Francesco Calisto Sciarra!" He yelled, making Alessandra raise a curious brow on reflex. His hand grabbed the hilt of his rapier, though not in a position to unsheathe it. "I have come to issue you a challenge!"


The entirety of the dinner table's occupants turned to look at Alessandra, who simply let out a long sigh and crossed her arms. She had to cook for seven people every day, protect a troublemaker of a prince, make sure Camille and Ezio didn't pull out each other's eyes - the last thing she needed was someone she had been forced to fight to demand a rematch out of the blue. Taking a deep breath, she looked into the young man's clear, blue eyes, taking a moment to admit to herself that he really was quite handsome, even more than her charismatic cousin.


"I apologize if this will sound rude" she started, her voice calm and polite. "but I have no intention of fighting you. I do not consider you my enemy, I merely fought you at that time because you were standing in my way and I had no other option."


Sciarra bit his lip, trying to control his anger. First, a woman had defeated him, and now she was telling him that the fact that she had bested him in a fight wasn't even that big of a deal? He unsheathed his rapier, making the blonde man at the table gasp and the wavy-haired young man pull the child closer to him.


"I apologize as well but I have no choice either." He replied, his voice colder than that of his enemy. "My defeat by your hands has wounded both my pride and my reputation and I will not stand for that. Even if you refuse a duel" he changed into a fighting stance "I will force you into one."


Alessandra looked at him, her eyes tired and her entire body wishing for nothing but a soft bed and a good book. But before her stood a dignified man with a wounded ego who had gone out of his way to try and repair the damage she had, unknowingly, done to him. She sighed once more.





"Fine." Alessandra replied in a dry tone. "But if you lose, don't challenge me again."

Despite Break's stupidly excited face on the userpic I decided to use, I'm so terribly tired and I can't stop coughing, I think I might actually be sick. This started out yesterday... I hope I get better by the time I leave on Saturday, I would hate to spend my holidays coughing all the time.

First set of good news is rather private so... Let's just say I'm really happy ^^~ Ecstatic, actually, though it will never be serious, I am happy with the way things are.

Second set of good news, I lost 5kg these last two weeks. I'm chubby so losing this amount of weight in such a short time to me is amazing. I'm rather proud of myself and I'll try to keep up the good work so I can fit into smaller sizes sooner. This doesn't mean I'll stop eating healthily or get into crazy diets haha.

Third set of good news: I went out with yunie_sigh today. We seem to be going out quite often lately compared to last year, don't we? I'm glad you moved closer to me, I love being with you and I'm glad we can meet more often than before~
So we went to the Planetarium. I hadn't been there in literally years... it was so much fun and absolutely beautiful. I had forgotten how much I loved being in there, looking at the sky and hearing about all sorts of constellations. Aparently, my constellation, Virgo, is one of the largest in the sky - I had no idea about this. Even though I was cracking jokes all the time, and though the voice of the man who was explaining about the constellations scared me, it was a really peaceful and enjoyable time for me. I hope I get to go there again in the near future with someone as well, because going alone isn't nearly as much fun.
Then we took a cab and went to fnac in Chiado. I finally found a book with photos of palaces. They're venitian, not french, but who cares, I just need really posh, ancient-looking interiors to work with and it's very hard to find, since most architecture books being sold are about modern architects and their works. I also bought a small book with pictures of hotels in Paris, which is also perfect for interior references, and a book that I bought because of a CD-Rom that came attached to it with tones, backgrounds, page layouts and etc for manga/comics.
We left the stuff in fnac and went down to BD Mania (as usual)... after that, we went to a small coffee shop near the river called Castella. It's basically sort of a japanese tea house, they have traditional japanese sweets and all sorts of tea~ yunie_sigh and I like to go there when we visit that part of the city because of the meronpann and the raspberry tea, which are delicious. Today we tried the traditional desserts, which were awesomely good, though I couldn't finish mine (I was so full!) and we tried Chocopann, though it was filled with white chocolate instead of black. I really liked it though~ We also decided to try drinking the raspberry tea with ice, which I personally loved and will probably start doing the same from now on.
Then we walked back up to fnac to collect the books and caught a cab. I dropped yunie_sigh off at Colombo and then came home...

And the bloody cat was waiting for me at the windowsill. The moment she saw me open the door she came running to me, I had to let her in, feed her some ham and then after an hour of snooping around she asked me to let her out. I seriously wonder if she thinks this is her house.


I will be leaving for St Bart's on Saturday. I will take my mom's laptop with me so that I can continue writing my novel, but if you need anything don't be afraid to e-mail me!

Thank you yunie_sigh for such a wonderful day! I always have loads of fun with you, we get along so well ;u; You're really an important friend to me and I'm really happy we get to hang out so often lately~ Thank you!!

I'm so obsessed with Pandora Hearts right now that I think fifty out of my 105 LJ userpics are PH-related. And I got them all today!
And please fawn at my userpic because yunie_sigh made it for me, thank you honey! <3 Aaaand a new header, because I can't stop myself.
So, hm, updates are in order.

The jazz concert went horrible, I forgot about half the lyrics to the song I was singing so it was a disaster ;^; Also, I had a big disappointment on a personal level but for the first time, instead of going emo on my ass, I made a life-changing decision. I've made plenty of decisions before, most of them about my self-esteem and happiness, but I've never made a decision like this. If you know me, you know I'm quite romance-oriented, meaning I keep trying to find love in anyone I meet and I get sad about it most of the time. So because of what happened I realized how useless and possibly painful it is to go around and try to fall in love, when love should just... happen. So from now on I have decided that I will stop looking. I will stop trying to see in every boy I meet a potential relationship or crush and just enjoy life the way it is. Enjoy drawing, writing, reading, music, going out and just having fun. Stop worrying about whether I'm single or not because I'm 17, I have plenty of time to find that right person, and I can still be happy meanwhile. I have my hobbies, my talents, my sense of humour, family and friends that I love dearly... and I think that for now, that's quite enough to hold onto. I still want to find love and someone to care for but maybe that's not essential for my happiness right now.
I have a life to enjoy, be it by myself or with friends, and from this day forward I will start looking at it without thinking about holding anyone's hand.

This does not mean I will stop wanting to read/RP/imagine/write romance. Because, you know, it's still me, right? Haha!

On a completely unrelated fact, I've read all Sharon x Break fanfics on FF.net. I need my Sharon/Break fix! Argh, you people write more, damn it! *shakes angry fist*

Anyway, I'm leaving on August 8th for... several places over the course of three weeks, just like every year. Until then, I'll be here. I'll still update while away and probably upload a picture or two, but there's still some time to go until I leave so it's not worth talking about it now.
I'm already at 10 A4 sized pages of my novel! I'm really excited since I love this story and I've already drawn a few of the characters, am planning to draw more. I hope to finish it in time but if I don't, I'll probably finish it anyway because I'll already be too far ahead by then to give up haha.

Can't stop visiting http://ilistentoeverything.com and listening to the playlist from beginning to end. I need some new music and this is the perfect place to visit for that~ I've found a lot of brilliant artists I had no idea existed through that site!

Hm, nothing else to say I suppose... *thinks*


I love you, yunie_sigh and nessi_foo!
And nessi_foo, welcome back to Lisbon ^w^~

So today was the very first day of a Jazz workshop I signed up for. I got there at about 2:30PM so I just sat under the shade of a tree, sketching and listening to music. I was horribly nervous. When I got there we were about 12 people. They gave us sheets for 'Fly me to the moon'. It's my favourite song, or at least one of my top favourites, so I know it by heart. They asked who knew the song and I said I did so they asked me to sing it. Apparently they liked it so much I'm supposed to sing it solo now. It's not hard at all to sing the song without any backup, it sounds great with the drums, bass and guitar, I loved it. And they liked my voice in it, so yay!
There was a guy there with a great voice and they got him singing 'I Got Rhythm'. It's a wonderful song and so catchy! We sing three other songs in a chorus and so far it's sounding great and it's just the first day! Though we didn't talk much the people there seemed really really nice and it seems like this week will be a fun and eye-opening experience. I love music and I'm just glad I'm doing something with my voice and my free time.

After I left CCB (Belém Cultural Centre), I got a message from Diogo asking me if I could go help him shop for t-shirts. I met him, we went through three stores until we realized the new collections hadn't come in yet so all that was left were the ugly scraps no one had bought. Since he had free time, he accompanied me to fnac to help me buy some nice headphones (I got AKG ones, damn expensive but great!) and to a jewelry shop called Pedra Dura so I could collect the earrings my mom had left there to be repaired. We started heading towards the taxis and bus stops, but I looked at GAME from afar and realized there was someone at the counter whom I hadn't met yet! So I said goodbye to Diogo and went inside. I've been a regular costumer at the store for over a year so I know everyone there pretty well and they're always happy to meet me. Whenever someone new is hired I get all yippy and excited and I go over to introduce myself. So I did it today and I'm so happy I did! The new guy working there is amazingly nice and super cute and he actually put up with me talking out of my elbows! I'm so happy! I hope when I go there again he's on counter duty, I really loved chatting with him.

So I guess that was my day C: Too excited not to post~ Tomorrow I'll be picking up my Intuos4, having another three hours of jazz workshop and I'll be going out for dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe with Mariana and her british boyfriend, Edward ^-^

I have to change my header lol it's so oldstuff.

Stolen from yunie_sigh and nessi_foo

List the first ten series that come to mind. Your friends will comment with the character from each series that they think you are most like.

1. Baccano!
2. Spiral
3. Harry Potter
4. Phoenix Wright
5. Disney Movies
6. Chrno Crusade
7. Supernatural
8. Yu-Gi-Oh!
9. Pandora Hearts
10. Gundam 00


Small post scriptum: I paid for my Intuos4 today, I'll be collecting it on Tuesday, and I'm thinking of running for a writing contest. Wish me luck.

AAAAAAAAAAAH.

I LOVED IT SO MUCH.

I went to see the movie with yunie_sigh. We haven't hung out in ages so at least for me it was really fun. I love being with her and hanging out with her always cheers me up. And today she convinced herself I was Luna Lovegood, which I don't mind at all since I adore her to bits.
Oh god, I'm so obsessed with Draco Malfoy. And I was shocked how much Pansy looked like someone, but I'll leave it up to yunie_sigh to tell you all about it xDD
I also met her cousin who was super nice and I desperately want to meet her cousin's brother. YOU KNOW WHY 8| Anyway, she was working at nice little jewelry shop and I ended up buying a lot of stuff, as usual.
Ah, Draco. Your clothes and your hair. You made me squeal throughout the entire movie, damn you to hell! *SIGH*
Also, favourite scenes in the movie:

- Cormac barfing all over Snape's shoes.
- Bellatrix jumping up and down and laughing in squeals.
- Bellatrix kicking the glasses on the dining hall tables.
- The whole fire swirly thing when they go get the horcrux and are attacked by millions of Gollums (you have to admit, they really did look like Gollum, all of them).

And I didn't read the book, so I can't really complain about it being a good adaptation or not, but as a stand-alone movie, I thought it was absolutely perfect, and I'd rape Draco anyday. 8)
Besides, I was with yunie_sigh so that made it even better ^^ I had a wonderful time, thank you!

I'm done!
The national exam grades came out today. I'm pretty cheerful with my results, considering last year's were downright terrible. I had the highest score in the entire school on my Portuguese exam, so I'm actually pondering applying for a course in Cultural Studies instead of Design. I know I'm an art student and I'll probably be missing on History lessons when comparing myself to other students (who have graduated in the Social Studies area) but maybe I'd be able to keep up by studying a lot on my own.
I don't know. But I've talked to my teacher on the phone and he reassured my uncertainties about my talent or lack thereof in the literary/social studies field. I'd probably have a better chance of getting a job if I graduated in Cultural Studies, but I'm an artist as well as a writer.

I still have to think a lot about this. I'll apply for both courses, that's for sure, and if I get accepted into both... Well, I'll decide by then.

On another note, my dad bought me a new Wii, since mine went insane overnight, and a new scanner/printer.
I'm in love with the damn thing. Not just because it's all black and glossy and pretty, but the quality is much much better. For the first time in my life, my scanner doesn't kill the colours:

http://Alessa-K.deviantart.com/art/Kael-Chibi-128499942 <- A chibi Kael

http://Alessa-K.deviantart.com/art/Vinnie-128426533 <- A new character of mine, Vincent.

My old scanner was so bad I had to open every single scan in Photoshop and "Overlay" the hell out of them until the colours looked at least decent.

The only thing bringing me down a little is the fact that I had to go and blow my allowance on new earphones and a USB hub (because mine can't handle anything else being plugged into it). I was trying to save 500€ to buy a Wacom Intuos4 before going on holiday, but the way things are going I won't be able to. That's why I'm accepting commissions now, but no one will ever want them, so I'm kind of stuck here.

Oh, I almost forgot! The school concert was on Sunday, 28th of June. I know, I know, but I just haven't felt like talking about it lately, mainly because of some bumps in the road I've been hitting.
It went well, I suppose. I had to sing the second verse from What a Wonderful World on my own, and according to other people's remarks, I did pretty well. I was so nervous I could have thrown up right there during rehearsals, but I was strangely calm during the performance. It's always easier to just do it than when you're preparing for it.
It's addictive though! I really, really want to sing on a stage again. I was invited by my music teacher to go back to the school's music group next year when I'm attending University, so if I have the time, I'll definitely be there.

I'm no good for anyone.
If the love of my life were to appear right before me, he wouldn't fall for me. There are so many single girls out there and all of them are better than me. No one would ever prefer me to them, especially not the person I happen to fall in love with.

I don't want to be alone forever, but I suppose that's me.

I can't pretend any longer. I can't just go about ignoring it anymore and telling everyone I'm okay and showing them a huge smile and holding them when they cry.
I have a concert coming up on Sunday. I have to sing the third verse of a song solo so I'm a nervous wreck. I haven't been fine lately considering my music teacher has been picking on me and yelling at me in front of the orchestra and if you add my self-esteem (or lack thereof) to the equation... Well, you know what I mean.
Things are not at all okay.
Especially considering that I've been hiding my own problems at home, which have been kicking me down every single day, but I've been putting on a big smile nonetheless.
The fact is, my father has been rising through the various ranks of his work. He's currently VP of an international consulting company, AT Kearney, which means he's in charge of the whole Portuguese and Spanish branches (meaning he goes back and forth between our city and Madrid all the time, so I barely see him anymore). Maybe it's because of this, I don't know, but he's become very arrogant and full of himself lately. He acts as if his word is law in this house even though he's never here and mother is. I love my dad, I really do, he's a kind man at heart and he acts like a little kid sometimes which makes him adorable... But I can't take this anymore. He always reacts in the worst way possible and ALWAYS blames my mother for anything that may happen inside our outside our home... And he makes every little problem seem like the end of the world, all the while trying to make my mother and I feel like shit. He's a wonderful man when he's on his bright side, but... Lately I haven't seen much of it.
But the real problem is the arguments. Whenever I come home and I see his suitcase near the door, instead of getting happy, I shiver. Because if my dad is home it means my parents are arguing. They argue about everything, they insult each other, yell at the top of their lungs and I just stand there watching. And when they're done, dad goes to bed without saying a word and mom comes complaining to me. And she's usually right but I know I can't say a thing.

Honestly, I wish they'd just split up. It'd be a lot easier on all of us, especially my mom who says she doesn't feel anything anymore, and doesn't even bother to care about anything.
I know I'm the child so I'm supposed to be neutral, but I just think this is unfair on me. I just got through the disappointment of being rejected from all three chances I had to fulfill my dream, I haven't recovered from losing my best friend to the laws of nature, and I'm so nervous about Sunday I could kill myself with tranquilizers. This has been going on for months, I think probably more than a year though now it's no longer soft, it's downright unbearable, and I just wish it would stop.


Sorry for the long rant... I needed to vent and no one's available.

I need some. I have zero faith in a sunny destiny being in store for me, seeing as I was praying for a good year (since it is my final year in high school, I wanted to go out with a bang), but I've been bombarded with bad luck ever since day one. My dog died, my dreams of going to London died in front of me, people I like started to hate me and I had a crush, yet again, on the wrong person.

Maybe it's something biological. Maybe something's wrong with me, maybe I was born with a bad luck gene or something. Whatever it is, it's unfair.
And it annoys me (to the extent of wanting to bash people's heads in) that I try my best to help everyone and to be there for everyone and their problems... And when I do complain, which I rarely do because I don't like to talk about my problems (it reminds me of them), I get slapped in the face with bad attitudes and selfishness.

Do I deserve this? Honestly?
I don't know. But I'm headed for a clean start in college. God knows if it'll be worse, even.


I'm totally addicted to CSI New York and Criminal Minds. Please, everyone, find me pictures to fangirl over. I'm going for both Reid and Rossi in Criminal Minds, and Sid and Adam in CSI.
Why do I go for the old guys?
Btw, Joe Mantegna is so nice it gives me a sugar high. Interviews!